John was born amidst Carny Folk on the island of Atlantic City, NJ, so he was predestined for a career in advertising. His earliest years were spent being adorable and winning baby parade trophies across southern New Jersey.

At the age of 10 his father gave him his own wooden rowboat, which lead to many adventures and started his love of exploring and seat cushions. His plan to declare one of the small islands in the bay as his own sovereign country was cut short by his family’s move to a small farm in the Middle of Nowhere, Pennsylvania.

Taking full advantage of his parents’ Benign Neglect School of child rearing, John and his younger brother amused themselves on the farm with prodigious reading, leading to science experiments and near-near death experiences involving rockets, robots, underwater habitats, hang gliders, and the unforgettable methane generator.

In high school, John’s dual love of science and art lead to him being voted Tallest in the yearbook. He continued to be tall as he moved to Pittsburgh to attend art school, which closed immediately after he graduated with a degree in Now What?

John stayed in Pittsburgh, earning a living as an illustrator and racking up awards for painting, advertising and tallness, eventually being inducted into the Advertising Hall of Achievement. All of which won’t even get him a free cup of coffee.

Somehow, John managed to convince a Nubian Princess to disregard her better judgment and become his life partner. She is the one who encouraged him. So all the blame lies with her.

The Totally True And Not At All Made Up

          Biography of John Hinderliter